


Inferior creature

by AspieVulcan



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Spock (Star Trek), Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Reveal, Secret Crush, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 20:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17331887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspieVulcan/pseuds/AspieVulcan
Summary: Jim tricks McCoy into listening in on him and Spock talking and he finds out that Spock is in love with him.





	Inferior creature

McCoy was sitting in his quarters right after his shift finished when he got the message

Kirk: go to the observation deck imediately, stay out of sight and do not say anything or reveal yourself no matter what happens. This is an official order.

And sure enough it was followed by a signature from some admiral. He tried to think of what it could be about as he rushed to the observation deck and sat in one of the seats facing away from most of the room. It had to be important but what? They weren't meet any planets or had contact with any aliens. And why did he have to hide?

Then he hears the door open and someone walked in and sat down, he didn't dare look up to see who. Five minutes of silence and someone else walked in and sat.

"Hey Spock, sorry I'm late" he heard Jim say. Why the hell had Jim gotten him to listen in on a conversation with Spock? What could be so important that an admiral approved? Was he sick? Yes that must be it, Spock was sick and would only tell Jim!

"Hello Jim. There is a lot to discuss."

"That bad huh?"

"Yes. He.. I don't know how to react. I just don't understand him, when he jokes I take him seriously and when he is serious I think he's joking. He is convinced I am doing it on purpose but I just... I don't get it.. I keep trying but it feels as if he's always out of reach.."

"He is within reach, you know that."

"I do, you have told me but.. I do not believe you. I. I always trust you Jim. Why is this different?"

Either Spock or Jim was pacing now, he assumed Spock but it was unimportant compared to what he was hearing, Spock was expressing his feelings to Jim. They must be even closer than he first thought but who was this mysterious 'he' and why did McCoy have to hear about him? He was jealous, he didn't know who this person was but maybe this was Jim's way of telling him to stop crushing on Spock, he had only just told Jim so it would make sense.

"I know, it's normal, your just scared, it's a human side effect."

The pacing stopped

"Ah yes human... I wish.. I wish I were human." McCoys brain tried to comprehend that sentence, Spock.. wants to be human!? "Or Vulcan.. just not half. If I were Vulcan I would suppress it if I were human I would at least understand it but I am both... or neither... I do not think I can tell anymore"

"You are both Spock. I know it's hard but you have to accept reality."

"I know Jim.. I simply do not like my current reality... human.. yes human would be better I think.. then he might see me differently, I would not be so 'damn logical', I would be a friend or at least an equal.. not a 'computer' or 'hobgoblin'."

McCoys heart plummeted through the floor and his stomach cartwheeled out through the wall. He wanted to run to Spock, tell him that he didn't mean any of it he was just stupid around Spock, he didn't know how to react since he thought Spock hated him or at least didn't care enough to notice him. But Spock had become his whole world.

"He doesn't mean any of those things, he just doesn't know how to show his true feelings."

Spock didn't seem to hear and was pacing again.

"I am in love with a man who sees me as an inferior creature and I can barely comprehend my own emotions. We have discussed this for months and nothing has changed. I may as well be an inferior creature since I cannot even act upon my emotions."

McCoy could feel tears threaten to fall as he tried to steady his breathing, Spock loved him and all McCoy had done in return was hurt him. Spock was not an inferior creature, if anything McCoy saw Spock as a God who could never be interested in a lowly human like him. But turns out he wasn't a god, he was just another person who McCoy had hurt.

"Now I know for a fact that he does not see you as an inferior creature."

"Then he is blind."

"Spock.."

He heard Spock sit down again. i

"Everyone in my life has seen me as such, why should he not.. on Vulcan I'm an emotional half breed and here I'm a green blooded hobgoblin. Admit it i do not belong anywhere, wherever I go no matter what i will always be looked down upon. In every regard I am inferior and I do not know why my father saw it as fit to create such a creature"

"Spock you aren't an inferior creature, no matter how much you don't believe it we all like you, even your father and especially bones."

"... Thank you.. although I doubt the situation will have changed by next week.. I.. I apologize for wasting your time on me.."

This time McCoy couldn't hold back the tears or even put his breathing, with Spock's superior hearing he was sure he would hear him so he stood and stormed over before Spock could leave.

"Doctor.. Jim you.. I-"

McCoy interupted him with a very human hug.

"Shut up Spock and don't ever say something like that again, I love you, you are not an inferior creature and I love you" he said through his tears and sobs.

"... Leonard?"

"That sounds beautiful when you say it you know.."

"Leonard are you ok? You seem to be in great distress."

"So do you.. I love you you know.. have for a while.."

"I love you too, however I think you are already aware of that."

"Guess so.. wanna be angry at Jim so that we don't have to be angry at each other?"

"That would be most agreeable."

"Wait what?! I'm the one who got you two together!"

"My privacy was violated." Spock said

"And I was tricked by you, a fake signature! Really! You think I'll let you get away with this!?" McCoy exclaimed now holding Spock's hand.

Jim ran for his life. He could never face both of the ships strongest arguers at once.


End file.
